annanotbob's Diaryland Diary

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Help me if you can, I'm feeling down

At group this morning we were looking at solving social difficulties. It took a while for me to get to the bottom of why I can travel to America to visit people I've never met yet can't get down the road to a nano meeting in a cafe, but I think I've nailed part of it. It's my fear of the question, "So, Anna, what do you do?" which I have tended to answer with, "I'm a teacher but I lost my last job when I had a breakdown and now I go to a psychiatric hospital twice a week and..." but they've usually fled by then. I always think I'm not going to blurt everything out but either I do and it gets uncomfortable or I'm so frozen with anxiety that no one speaks to me much anyway.

I have been given the task of coming up with as many answers to this question as possible, including mad, stupid, fantastic ones. I am instructed to brainstorm for myself, not sticking to the sensible, and also to ask trusted people for their ideas, which also have no need to be appropriate.

So, dear reader, I am asking you for your help. I already have "Fuck off and mind your own business," but anyone have any other ideas? I would be so grateful for your suggestions, however mental.

Off to write my novel now, back later xxx

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6:55 p.m. - 02/11/2009

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