annanotbob's Diaryland Diary
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Time it was
A couple of pics from yesterday. Tony making us all eggy bread for breakfast:
And the photo he took of his beach art:
It was a beautiful, beautiful day, with temperatures back up to really warm, full of the joy of an unexpected free gift. It's been cold already and we've all been wearing coats and facing up to months and months of being indoors, wrapped up, before we'd feel the sunshine on our bare arms again. Some people were paddling, but the water's already too cold for it to be a real pleasure. Although the wind had dropped right down, the sea didn't seem to have noticed, and was enticing teenagers to play chicken with the waves, with plenty of shrieking:
Lovely.
Later we went for lunch where we witnessed a well-known, apparently very pleasant, ex-children's TV presenter acting like he was very impatiently waiting for his man, (as it were). I first saw him on the stairs on my way to the loo and thought, bloody hell, he's like the picture TVguy must have in his attic - what he would have looked like if he'd gone bad, instead of being a jolly camp little sweetheart. Then he moved with his friend to a seat by the window, in my line of vision and fuck me, it was him, twitching and fidgeting and pacing about, chewing his nails, up and down the stairs to the gents every five minutes, sweating. Made me feel quite sad.
Then we went to see Ma in hospital (she's OK), I dropped Sammie and co off at Sam's while I had my session with R and after that we all went to the pictures to see 'Up', a 3D kids film full of snarling dogs, towering cliff faces and other joys.
Today I have not left the house. Tony fetched the newspaper for me before they left this morning and I have done nothing at all, at all, at all.
I feel the last few weeks have illustrated to me quite clearly that my quality of life is all about management of emotions. Like recognising the difference between due and undue. Due being an appropriate response to a genuine current situation and undue being based on suppositions, past grievances and assorted distorted perceptions. The first is part of life, the second is part of mental illness (well, beyond a certain point it is), but they can be tricky to decipher. I had more to say on this but now I'm going to watch Sunday night's Xtra Factor, my last treat of the day.
I have also today made some detailed plans for my nano novel and re-read my diary from January this year, about which I can only say, fucking hell. What a time that was.
Sleep well xxx
|12:17 a.m. - 29/10/2009
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