annanotbob's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - I thought I'd be at yoga now but I seem to have missed it. Motivation is elusive. Instead of celebrating my new life, my new freedom, I seem to fall into anxiety on behalf of others, which is pointless as it helps no one. Good things about yesterday: Today feels different. I am under instructions to take it steady, be self-compassionate, do nice things - you know the drill - but I can't think of a single thing that I would like to do, other than hide in bed for ever. Action is called for. I don't even want Sara back, though I would like her down the road. I'd like all of them down the road. My babies. They feel like my true life's work, as if now I just have to find a way to pass time until I die. I know I need to do some volunteering, to make a bit of positive difference somewhere, but it's hard to put myself forward when I keep collapsing into this kind of self-obsessed, self-pitying bollocks. |12:21 p.m. - 25/09/2009 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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