annanotbob's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tell me why, she cried Ay, dios mio. Just fled the writing workshop mid-session. The first bit was OK - they'd brought in various old toys to spark a memory to write about. No problem there - the good old Tell Me Quiz, as played with Stepfie and her girls. I wrote about trying to use it with a rowdy class one last day of term without having thought it through properly - almost home ground, writing funny stuff about being a teacher. For the next part they wanted us to choose a personal quality. We'd done this last week - they'd asked us to choose three positive qualities we had (I picked optimism, intelligence and friendliness), but a couple of the others were adamant that they had not a single good point worth mentioning so things went a bit awry for a while and we never found out what was coming next. So this morning they asked us to choose a negative aspect of ourselves. OK, anxiety. And its polar opposite. Bravery? Then two columns, one for each and, starting with the negative, make a list of sensory images to describe them, starting each with 'She is...' Terrible. Images came fast and furious for the anxious part, horrid, nasty images that crept into my mind and took hold so that when it was time to start the bravery list I could only think she was just a fantasy (and I KNOW that's not true - I went to America, I AM brave as well as anxious). Then we were asked to name each one, to give a brief history, some personal details, age, appearance etc. But too late, I was gone by then. I mouthed at one of the tutors 'I'm not doing this' and she beckoned me out into the corridor where I gibbered at her for a bit, decided to go and have a calming fag, but couldn't face going back so came home, made myself a coffee and some cheese on toast and lay on the bed doing deep breathing. Now I've written it down here I feel calm again and a touch embarrassed at my drama-queen tendencies. One of the tutors just phoned to see if I was coming back, very concerned etc, but no thanks, I'm done now. The only thing tempting me back was to give my number to one of the women I liked, but the tutor said she'd pass that on. I have an appointment with H at three and after that I shall go for a swim. Then I might just set out my collage stuff in the back room and see what happens. Art heals. Witty and Boxx both tell me that, so I know it's true. Thanks for being there, dear diary and dear readers. Back later, I expect xxx |1:18 p.m. - 23/09/2009 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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