annanotbob's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Put another dime in the jukebox, baby Ach, what can I say? It's easier to get sentimental about some people's absence when they actually are absent. Coming home puts an end to all that, especially coming home from a festival tired and come-downy and very grumpy. I'm in going with the flow mode. God only knows how I'll feel when she's gone, but I'll find out soon enough. Tonight we went to IKEA because it seemed like a good plan, but we were knackered by the time we got home and it's all in heaps in the hallway, along with a rucksack and suitcase. I was very restrained - well, to be honest I can't remember a thing I got, but feel as if it was all sensible. A new grater. I've had mine forever and basically it's as blunt as shit. I'm even boring myself with this. My mind is a bit frazzled, lots going on for lots of people around me but I read a bit of the old 'Compassionate Mind' last night in bed, having run out of mindless thrillers, thank fuck. The section I read was about distracting your mind from gloomy depressive thoughts by noticing what's nice about where you are right now. Not in the way of 'I'm so lucky to have a home and a bed and a book when people are starving,' because although true, that's back into the gloomy depressive mode, which doesn't do anyone any good. Just what's nice about right now. So for me, what's nice about now is the way my deep red, silky curtains billow in the gusts of breeze that come in off the sea. It's knowing that people read this, some of whom I hold close to my heart, and some of whom feel that way about me. It's being clean and having clean bedding on my bed and feeling happy about letting myself enjoy these things as a novelty - I save so much time and energy by not being afraid of a bit of dirt, about my home or my person, and I really appreciate the contrast after a cleanse. Very green - I don't use much in the way of water or products. It's been gratifying how many of the things I fail to do out of sheer laziness turn out to be for the best. Tomorrow I'm doing a writing workshop down the road. The woman who's running it left a message while we were out saying she was ringing round everyone to remind us to bring something to write on and write with. This doesn't send me a good vibe, I'm afraid. I mean, surely you can expect that most people who come to a writing workshop will bring paper and pen, but bung some in your bag for those who don't rather than call everyone to remind them. Still, it's a writing group so it'll be good whatever happens. Sweet dreams xx |12:03 a.m. - 16/09/2009 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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