annanotbob's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rooty tooty Not great. Grim, in fact. One of those days that just hurts from beginning to end, that I suppose I should be glad I don't have more of, but if I was able to be glad about anything, it wouldn't be that fucking grim. Nothing done, all day, except mooch about from bed to computer to, eventually, TV. My head just went. I know I've been taught how to deal with it, but I forgot it all, apart from that one day is just one day and nothing to panic about. Doesn't mean the end of everything. I wanted to talk to someone but no one I called was home and it took me hours each time to summon up the oomph to dial the number and crushed me each time no one was there. I should have gone to Ma's and made her some meals as I'd said I would and I didn't even call which is not good, but talking to her would have made me cry and then she'd have either been vile or nice but scary and I couldn't face either, but now I feel bad about it. It's about loss. I know, I can feel it coming at me from every direction, all my buttons being pushed one after another. Fuck 'em. I'm going to bed. Tomorrow is another day, Cynthia. |1:23 a.m. - 13/09/2009 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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