annanotbob's Diaryland Diary
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You can go your own way
In Sara's absence (she's at Bestival till Monday) I am trying living alone on for size. It's kind of weird that she's gone now but will be back for five days before leaving home forever. I'm a bit impatient to get started with this next phase in some ways, but a bit scared about issues of loss and loneliness. That's still theoretical though - I'll need to have more than a couple of days alone before I stop feeling overwhelming gratitude for the peace and the control over my environment. Poor Sare, I shall miss her when I know she won't be coming back.
I think we look like each other in this pic:
or is it my imagination?
I took my book to the park today and read it in the sunshine, while Millie sat on red alert guard duty, just in case. It's more restful in the park than at home, where everything seems to be shouting at me to do something. Lawn needs mowing, plants need attention, house needs hoovering and defleaing. I got some of that stuff to put on Bob - the kind where you empty a few drops of poisonous shite onto the skin at the back of their neck - but have so far failed to apply it. Even with Sam holding her down she got away before I'd managed to part her fur, let alone anything else. We've had several attempts but she gets cagey and won't come inside. It has to be done though, I'm getting bitten to death.
Sammie called me on my mobile while I was in the park and we had a long chat - the first time I've ever had an extended conversation on the phone while out in a public place. It's kind of fabulous, to literally lose sight of your surroundings and be totally engaged with someone who is in fact miles away. Cool. She's doing OK, my girl. Taking it steady. She's called the doctor's secretary and asked for a written diagnosis/prognosis as she wasn't able to pay attention to what he said after 'secondary progressive.' But we know it's not an automatic death sentence. MS is a sneaky fucker of a disease that goes its own way wherever it fetches up. 'Be here now' is the only possible response.
Happy weekending, dear peeps xxx
1:08 a.m. - 12/09/2009
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------