annanotbob's Diaryland Diary

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La loca

I'm in danger of losing it, right now. My mind has decided to fix itself on the fact that Ma was ill with flu when we left and to compound this with the unassailable facts that a) both my real mother and my father died in the first week of September, like now, and that b) none of my family at home have updated their status on facebook since Wednesday, whereas the nephews and nieces are usually on there all the time.

I've emailed my sister, asking for reassurance but none has been forthcoming. I know what she's like - much more likely to decide there's no point in me knowing till I come home, if anything has happened. She has a track record of keeping uncomfortable truths to herself. I know I'm being ridiculous, but then again, maybe I'm not. Ma will be 89 next month, if she makes it, a phrase that's often on her lips.

I hate this. I wish I'd stayed at home. I wish I had someone to talk to, who could calm me down.

Sara's here now, wanting to go on facebook.

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4:17 p.m. - 05/09/2009

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