annanotbob's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mainly about things arriving at a speed that surprises me somewhat Oh man, in less than twelve hours time, I'll be leaving on a fucking jet plane and I HATE FLYING, I mean REALLY HATE FLYING - ooh I've just experienced a collision between writing and 'therapy' - what am I doing writing those words in big capital letters like that, bringing the thoughts to the centre of everything, hard on the page, writ large as if carved in stone. Well, I'm hoping for the best regarding the flight, and have plenty of valium, but I've been managing to forget it until just now. that I'm not going to be beamed up to foreign climes - booking a taxi to the airport wasn't the half of it. But fuck it - I didn't fly for years and years because I was so scared, it didn't feel worth it. All the time I was away I had the spectre of the return journey, pushing itself into my mind. But really, it's just the fear. It's not like anything is actually going to happen. I'm going to get on a plane and be terrified for two hours, in fact not even that, I'm going to be off my head for longer than that and swan about Gatwick. I dunno, it is more difficult with Sara there. On my own I give myself permission to do whatever I have to do, which may be crying or even wailing and clutching at the stranger in the next seat, but... You know. And I am statistically much more likely to die on the roads, which I know to be true as I have known many people killed by or in cars and no one who's died or even been involved in a plane crash. But now I feel I may be jinxing myself so enough already. I can't believe we're leaving half way through the final week of big brother. Someone's going out tomorrow and they haven't opened the phone lines yet... Later - I'm being chucked off here so Sara can move music onto her MP3. See you in Minorca, ciao amigos xxx | 9:39 p.m. - 31/08/2009 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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