annanotbob's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Techie hell Getting a bit freaked out now. Checked my diary to see if anyone had popped in to say hello. Up came an entry from October, as if it was the latest. Found today's in the archives, comment from stepfie which I didn't understand - earworm? Read her latest entry, went to leave comment, already one there from me, saying 'I love you, you nutter,' or somthing similar, also dated last October. Got scared and ran away and hid for a bit. Now being brave. Sort of. It's a year ago today that I started the tenancy here…. So, I think I have been over-extending myself in the last few days. I make arrangements as if I’m myself and can just flit about from here to there without there being consequences. I’m booked up too much right through the next fortnight and some of it will have to go. Tomorrow I’m meant to be swimming with the service users in the morning, then heading off over the downs to make salads and marinate meat for the book-group barbeque at Marion’s. I’m a part-time member of the book group, as an ex-member of staff, but I haven’t read the book this time. I started it, Blind Faith or something similar sounding, by Ben Elton. He is a smug cunt and I’d like to be a better person and hope he doesn’t find out the hard way whether or not people with ‘so-called’ depression are a bunch of lazy, piss-taking dole-scroungers, but there you go. Fuck you, Ben Elton, you upset me you did, and made me feel all shaky with your contempt and your scorn so I stopped reading and thought I’d declare why I stopped, loud and clear, in the name of solidarity for all us bonkers people, but now I’m chickening out a bit. Tuesday I have counselling and it’s Sam’s birthday and he says he’ll take us all out for a family meal, so I’d better get him a present. Neither of the kids have any money so they’re hassling me to buy him one from them, but they can both fuck off too. Wednesday I’m driving up to Herts with Sara to pick up grandson Tony, then head off to Dorset. We’re camping on Maria’s allotment till we all start arguing or till Sunday, whichever comes first. It all feels like too much. I’ll have to cancel the swimming at least. I’m being a sensible person and writing this in word. Just went to diaryland and looked back to a year ago. Bloody hell, that was hard, dealing with the move and feeling so unsupported and out of my depth. Much better now. I also realise it’s my three year anniversary on diaryland. I love it, I just fucking love it. Sara wants to have a go on t’internet, so I’ll have to go in a bit. Stayed at my sister’s last night – she and BIL went out leaving me with my two fabbie nieces. We had such a good evening discussing everyone we know both in life and via telly. You’re not allowed to smoke indoors at Sal’s unless it’s a spliff, as there’s a copper lives just down the road, so best keep it indoors, eh? I’m being scowled at. See you later, sweetie pies xxx 6:51 a.m. - 01/01/1990 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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