annanotbob's Diaryland Diary

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Really up the junction

Today's main event was a big shouty row with Sara that included some furniture throwing, a bit of door slamming and plenty of yelling abuse down the street. First time in ten months, which is some kind of record. I'd just finished screeching, 'And don't even think of coming back here, you selfish fucking bitch!' at the top of my voice when my sweet, little old white-haired, animal-rescuing neighbour arrived at my door on her way home. 'Ooh, they don't get any easier, do they?' she chuckled. 'Would you like to pop round for a nice glass of wine?' No, but thank you for the kind offer at 10.30 in the morning. I wanted to sit on the carpet and howl, so that's what I did for a bit.

The dentist was excruciating. She asked if I was on any medication, I told her anti-depressants and she launched into a great long description of her family life and how she'd never be able to put up with her husband without citalopran. For which she charged me fifty quid and I have to go back to have a molar out. Huh.

Apart from that I've made beans on toast, watched The Apprentice, walked Millie, smoked too many fags, almost written two emails but can't quite send either of them, and generally felt like shit. Jane's in London tonight, so Millie's staying here, to Bob's disgust. (Millie - small dog, Bob - small cat. Both idiots)

It's all very intense at the moment but I have a strong feeling of heading for the corner, round which I will soon have turned, or the bottom, up from which I will bounce. Or maybe I'll just explode. It's heading for something though.

Sorry this is so dreary and repetitive.

Grateful for:

Her next door; my fleecy jacket; three different geraniums in flower; big buds on the roses; Kahlua and cocoa

Sweet dreams xx

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10:58 p.m. - 21/05/2008

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