annanotbob's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nothing could be finer Well, Mrs Sensible Annanotbob's visit was short-lived. I woke up at about 5.30 yesterday morning for a wee, you know how it is, and noticed that Sara wasn't home. On the one hand she is 25, and has started seeing this bloke recently - a guy from college that she's been friends with for ages, not a weird stranger or anything - so no reason whatsoever to worry. On the other hand ... well, nothing really, except that when we did our tarot cards at the new year, one of mine indicated a major loss and it's been preying on my mind ever since. I know, I know. Of course all the other, very positive cards have slid into oblivion - there was something about a surge of creativity, and that's all I can remember. Anyway, no more sleep for me and by the time Sara tried to sneak in at 8.30 I'd built myself up into a total frenzy. Bah. She went off to work all day and I sank into a pit of doom, despair and incapacity to act or move. Finally relieved by watching a programme celebrating Stephen Fry's 50th birthday which incuded a clip from his programme about mental health. Hearing him talk about being unable to move from the sofa to the fridge for days on end and thinking of himself as a total cunt and wanker was such a relief. Took a sleeping pill and went to bed. A bit better today. The woman from MIND who helps with benefits rang and was very reassuring. She's going to start things off with - well, I can't remember what, but she said it will all be OK, financially at least. Apparently I'm not the first person with mental health issues to have whizzed through a lump sum of cash in no time and to have thrown away all the scary letters. I guess not, but it's still hard not to feel like a git for having done so. especially when a demand for £2,300 council tax arrives. Gulp. I've also been for a swim today, with T and B, from the last group I did. Fabulous. We are very very good at hugging each other, all three of us being needy and not having much access to hugs. We did about ten lengths of up and down then got into the empty children's pool and larked about with floats and doing underwater yoga. I love them, really. I am so glad to have found them, darlings, they are. Tonight I'm going to see Daughters of Albion in the festival, with Jane. They include June Tabor: Norma Waterson: and Kathryn Williams: amongst others. Should be great. I'm having all sorts of IT confusion at the moment. There's photobucket, which isn't playing. I tried imageshack, but that doesn't want to know either. Paypal is being a shit - it won't let me close the account with the card in Sam's name without the number of the card, but that was cancelled ages ago, so he cut it up. It won't let me open another one till I've closed that. Bastard. I tried to join this 'bloggers over 40' thing I found at marn's but got in a total muddle with the html for that - one link twice, no sign of the other one. Ach, there's more but it winds me up just to think about it. For the last couple of hours I've had the feeling that I've forgotten something, or left something behind. You know, like when you only drink half of a cup of coffee - that sense of something unfinished, lurking in your mind. Grateful for: 1. Flaky friends who love to hug xxx 3:52 p.m. - 13/05/2008 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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