annanotbob's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Beautiful OK. It has come to my attention that in recent days nearly all the women I read on here are feeling anxious about their weight. So before we go any further, let us take a moment to celebrate our bounteous curves: I also need to state, for future ref, that today has been crap, my jaw still hurts, I'm still feeling utterly desolate about the disjunction between my surface relaxation on the yoga trip and my inner tension that has led to this physical pain. But I'm trying to cheer myself up by writing, so I'm not gonna dwell on all that. Especially as things have happened today that are good, even if I'm not quite able to connect with the goodness right now. I have four tickets for a recording of the BBC radio4 programme The News Quiz in a few weeks time - I was going to give a clip of it, but I found this one of the presenter, Sandi Toksvig, on No 73, a Saturday morning kids show from 1983. This is probably not remotely funny to anyone who wasn't trying to combine childcare with a post-Friday-night comedown the first time they saw it, but it made me laugh so I'm not apologising and you can't make me. I met Sara in the supermarket today to do The Big Food Shop. She's been doing all the housekeeping recently so this was my attempt at being a good mummy. Unfortunately, there was some crisis going on in town and all I heard on the way down there was one siren after another, all three emergency services nee-naw, nee-nawing it bigtime. So that got me a bit jittery - when I'm in flaky mode those sirens make a direct link to my nerves, like the sound of your own new-born baby crying in agony. Shocking. But I did some nice deep breathing in the car park before getting on the elevator-type thing up to the shop. They have these ghastly recordings which boom out health and safety advice for the totally paranoid 'please hold onto the handrail while on the travelator' and 'please prepare for your trolley to come off the travelator' - all crucial stuff as we are going slightly uphill at almost 5 mph, so anything could happen. Today the machine was fucked up and they were both echoing round the stairwell together. I had to make a serious, really serious effort to hold myself together for this and not curl up into a ball on the floor with my hands over my ears. I managed to get into the shop, but then Sara came up behind me and went 'Boo!' and I disintegrated on the spot. Poor Sara. She was lovely - something has changed in her understanding of what's happening to me, but I still wish she didn't have to experience all this. Gotta go - The Apprentice is on. Back later xx |8:27 p.m. - 23/04/2008 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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