annanotbob's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- tuesday I'm a bit stunned from having noticed that my site meter has reached 10,000. I mean, this is awesome, seriously gob-smacking, especially in the context of my 'real' life - I know it's nothing much in blog terms, but just think - I was writing for at least thirty years before I started blogging, and always foisting it on people whenever I could (without being too brazen) and probably hadn't achieved the equivalent of 200 hits in all that time. Makes you think, I tell you. I did read something I'd written in public once, at one of the theatre pubs Kelly and Co played in last year, as part of a writing group I belonged to. I read this piece about shoplifting when I was on the dole. It was a good piece, but I was rubbish. I completely lost my nerve when I walked out on stage and suddenly realised that, like most theatre audiences, there was a solid mass of educated middle class fucks out there, looking at me expectantly. They would almost certainly applaud 'gritty realism' as spectacle, but would just as likely want my children taken into care if I came up before them when they were at work as a magistrate or social worker. Funny day today. There have been several deaths of elderly parents of friends in the last couple of weeks - people in their 80s, every one, but always painful and shocking to lose a parent. Tomorrow Sam is taking his father (86) into hospital for an ankle replacement op and although the doctors are all very blase and confident, these recent events leave him (Sam) feeling very anxious. It all seems like some gruesome sketch off the telly: his dad's ankle was injured during The War, yes, that's the second world war - I kid you not - and has never been right since. In recent years it has got worse, but it still seems a massive operation for a man of his age and frailty, especially as they're only keeping him in overnight. And Sam being a heterosexual man of a certain age, he is Absolutely Fine, but totally agitated and stressed about everything else under the sun. Fine - as in Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic, Enjoying it. My counsellor gave me that, also Denial - Don't Even kNow I'm Lying. Ha. |12:50 a.m. - 03/04/2008 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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